What is I-O?

I had originally scheduled a different column for this issue of TIP. However, the magnitude of the reader response to my previous column, Eight Things That Really Tick Me Off, told me a great deal about the preferences of our Societys members. That column went platinum by TIP standards. What people apparently like to read is free-floating hostility. Because there is going to be a change in the near future in the editorship of TIP (Allan Churchs tenure ends in April 2001), this may well be my last column. I therefore decided that if such a case prevails, I want to leave you with some of my A material. Once again I will regale you with yet another source of irritation to me. It is how certain words are used that, well, really tick me off. But lets be very clear about one thing. I am not complaining about the people who use these words, nor am I voicing any opinion about the substantive issues behind the use of the words. I am only railing against the use of the language. Okay? Out of the myriad of ways words are used in the English language, I have selected a mere five.

Situation. The dictionary defines situation as a state of affairs. It is a fairly common word and can be used to reflect a wide variety of circumstances. For example, The situation in the Middle East has gotten very bad. Or, At the party I found myself in a very awkward situation. Or, The situation is thisthree candidates for two job openings. But lately situation has become a redundant, tack-on noun that is inserted into a sentence to make it sound more strategic and definitive. Over the past 3 to 4 weeks I actually heard the following statements. From my local TV weatherman: Doppler radar indicates there is currently a rain situation over Roanoke. From a baseball announcer: The Yankee infielders are well positioned in the event of a ground ball situation. From a university administrator: If we face an over-enrollment situation in that class, well create another section. Are you aware of a more meaningless use of a word? It is my understanding that deep in the bowels of the White House is a special place called the situation room. Here the president convenes his advisors on emergency matters of grave importance. I can just picture this scenario in the White House. The president is working alone in the Oval Office. His chief of staff receives an urgent communiqu describing some potentially very serious state of affairs requiring immediate attention. The chief of staff hurriedly enters the Oval Office and says, Excuse me, Mr. President, but it appears we have a situation situation. The chief of staff would probably say it loud enough to be recorded on the sensitive taping system in the Oval Office. One hundred years from now political historians who study that tape would falsely conclude the chief of staff suffered from doublicia, a rare linguistic disorder which results in the last word spoken in a sentence to be repeated.

Challenge. The new usage of this term comes from the Reagan can-do years in the mid-1980s. Its usage is meant not only to turn darkness into light, but more importantly to connote a sense of personal control over our lives. We are no longer passive pawns in the relentless onslaught of life, but rather we are positioned to engage in self-efficacy. It is the ultimate form of spin. It used to be that we all knew what was meant by a challenge. For some of us, to climb a mountain is a challenge. For others, it may be completing a crossword puzzle. But now challenge is an up-beat, can-do, Im-in-charge word that really means problem. But problem is now passe, because it implies it, not you, is in control. For example, Our revenues came in $2 million under projections. Its going to be a challenge to make payroll this month. At 37,000 feet above the ocean, This is your captain speaking. All four of our engines have just conked out, and we are very rapidly losing altitude. We are now going to experience the challenge of a water landing. So, be sure your seat belts are strapped low and tight across your waist, return your tray tables to their upright and locked position, and assume the unscheduled water landing position. And thank you for flying Albatross Airlines. Remember, at Albatross, it is always our pleas. I was in a staff meeting the other day when a colleague entered the room. His elderly father had been sick for some time and was recently hospitalized. Someone in the room inquired about his condition. My colleague announced that the illness was diagnosed as a fatal disease which had spread throughout his fathers entire body. He then said, And hes really going to be challenged to survive. How is that for new-speak? Instead of expressing love and compassion, or requesting support through prayer, the fathers illness was characterized as something which occasioned a sporting proposition. Im sorry, but when someone you love is dying, it shouldnt be portrayed in the same terms as participating in a 5K race.

Opportunity. A close cousin to challenge, it is somehow the decided preference of conservative Republicans. The word opportunity used to reflect some sort of propitious occasion, as While in London I had the opportunity to visit Kew Gardens. An old expression refers to opportunity knocking on your door. Not now. Opportunity now refers to your chance to demonstrate your skills under adverse conditions. Once again, opportunity places you in a position of control. You are never a victim when an opportunity presents itself. You may have read there is a terrible famine in parts of Africa. Nonsense. It is merely an opportunity for the inhabitants to cultivate their survival skills, like eating the bark off of trees. When a tornado takes your house, it simply provides you with an opportunity to go camping in what was once your backyard. I once heard of a motivational speaker who described to his audience how a man was dragged at gunpoint by some thugs into a back alley. According to the speaker, the man used the occasion as an opportunity to enhance his negotiation skills. Unfortunately his negotiation skills were somewhat deficient, as he was shot in the legs and now has the challenge of walking with a pronounced limp. And each member of the audience paid $75 to hear this tripe.

Concern. This one comes straight from the mouths of flaming liberal Democrats. Part of the trick of using this word in the New Age context is the pronunciation. The old way is conCERN. The new way is CONcern. And you must have sensitivity and compassion carved into your face when you say it. In the old days this word was decidedly neutral in meaning. For example, That issue doesnt concern us. But just like challenge and opportunity, the new usage is pure spin. It now refers to an affective response which used to be associated with such downers as anger, worry, or fear. Not any more. In this New Age world we do not dwell on the negative, rather we frame our emotions in a positive way. And remember, emphasis on the first syllable, and like the caring compassionate person you are, you say it slowly, as if you really mean it, and with deep CONcern etched on your face. For example, while working in the garage you say to a friend, Oops, I just cut off my thumb with the buzz saw. The intense pain and uncontrollable blood flow are of CONcern to me. Eight years ago Clinton said, I feel your pain. Now it would be, I am deeply aware of your CONcerns. Remember the adage about a 5-year old boy who has a hammer, and he discovers everything needs pounding? I once heard a counseling psychologist deliver this line to a group of distraught graduate students in a resounding display of a persons love for a word. I know you have CONcerns CONcerning the unexpected loss of your assistantships. I will continue to show deep CONcern to those CONcerned. Those comforting words just make you feel glad to be alive, dont they? Never mind the students had no money to eat, because there was CONcern in the air.

Behavior (as a suffix). Whatever level of irritation I feel over the four previous usages of words is a drop in the bucket compared to this one. In fact, this one is my all-time professional gripe. I suppose it all started when I was first entering graduate school in the late 1960s. I came across the term organizational behavior in some article I was reading. My 10^th grade English teacher instructed me not to use the literary technique of personification in serious technical writing. Therefore, raindrops dont dance and organizations dont behave. However, I was a mere lad at the time, and who was I to challenge how the profession I wanted to enter expressed itself? My next recollection of encountering the behavior suffix was the term withdrawal behavior. I learned this referred to employee lateness, absence, and turnover. It was meant to connote the employee was withdrawing his or her participation from the work force, to one degree or another. The next thing I know there was an explosion of terms where behavior was used as a suffix. It was a veritable linguistic avalanche of expressive ineptitude. We had leadership behavior (thats what managers do), motivation behavior (thats what cheerleaders do), test behavior (thats what assessees do), satisfaction behavior (thats something you do to make you feel good), and on, and on, and on. It became sort of a parlor gametake any noun or gerund and stick behavior on the end.

I once asked a class what their definition of psychology was. The most common answer was the scientific study of thinking and behavior. I concurred with that answer. A short time later Im in a graduate students dissertation defense (not my advisee) and the student uncorked something about thinking behavior. Not thinking and behavior, but thinking behavior. My jaw dropped. I looked over at the students major professor who noted the look of disbelief on my face. His head began to bob up and down like one of those oilrigs in the southwest. It was his way of letting me know that thinking behavior was right on the money, and that I simply wasnt with it. I began to imagine writing critical incidents reflective of thinking behavior. What I came up with was chin-stroking behavior, little-wheels-turning-in-the-head behavior, and smoke-coming-of-out-the-ears behavior. Presumably, while engaged in very deep-thinking behavior, all three could be manifested simultaneously. The latest iteration of this affront to the English language that I have seen is politeness behavior. Not being polite, but politeness behavior. When I was a child I had a far-away relative who would mail me birthday presents. My mother would remind me annually to send the person a thank-you note. I would protest saying I didnt like writing thank-you notes. My mother would chide me and say, Paul, you must learn to be polite. Nowadays she would have to say, Paul, you must learn to engage in politeness behavior.

Okay, I give up. The dam has burst and there is no point in trying to stem the torrent of linguistic abuse. All we can do is to see this thing through to its inexorable conclusion. I say we go full bore, all the way. Consider the following. In a waiting room at a hospital a graven-faced physician says, Im sorry, but your Uncle Zelmo is no longer engaging in heart-beating behavior. He is now facing an eternity situation. When a piece of food gets lodged in your throat its because your body did not properly engage in esophageal behavior. People should not guzzle carbonated beverages, because when they do they often engage in burping behavior and sometimes hiccup behavior. At a big family reunion it is wise to pass on the baked beans because they can cause you to engage in (well, you know).

So come along with me and play the behavior suffix game. Its fun and its easy. I just hope the TIP staff doesnt engage in edit-it-out behavior.