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!! r o y Sale! e wout Th Blo Suppose the Russians attack. Most meta-analyses come to a halt. You write a paper about it, but it gets rejected because there is no theoretical basis to your research. How about the invention of some high-tech gizmo that creates so many new jobs it reduces national employment to .1%? You write a paper about it. Same story: no theory, no pub. ump? i e ng a ch ? b Tired of hamp t t n o be a c ies, Wa theor that! o Y u need ere to do just nd is h Y d l i ourBra and Bu Paul M. Muchinsky* University of North Carolina at Greensboro Say goodbye to rejection letters! And get this: We are having a blowout sale, clearing out our com- puter files to make room for next year’s models and theories. Like you, we must sell out! Our prices will never be lower!! Our theories were developed with you, the purveyor of relevant but theoryless (and therefore unpublishable useless) research in mind. Get on the theory-testing bandwagon with these iconic exemplars of “integrative scholarship” from BuildYourBrand! Bend ‘Em Theories. Our biggest seller designed * Fan mail may be sent to email@example.com 132 especially for assistant professors on a budget. These theories are so flexible you can twist ‘em, modify ‘em, and generalize ‘em to fit any data April 2014 Volume 51 Issue