High Society: A 20-Word Glossary
for the SIOP Conference
Paul M. Muchinsky1
University of North Carolina at Greensboro
indifferent, or entertained readers can contact the author at email@example.com.
If this is the April issue of TIP, you know it is SIOP Conference time. As a service to members of our Society, I present you with 20 words you may find useful as you navigate through the Conference. You may not have heard of the words before, but you will recognize their meaning.
1. SIOPt. The process of choosing which of two sessions that are scheduled at the same time you will attend.
2. SIOPtometrist. A presenter at a session who repeatedly references vision in a discussion of leadership.
3. SIOPugnant. The relationship between two alpha males engaged in a pointcounterpoint debate whose self-important orations serve only to feed their already inflated egos.
4. SIOPaque. The characteristic of a presenters comments to deny any degree of illumination to the subject matter under consideration.
5. SIOPtimism. The belief that your submission to the program committee will be accepted for presentation at the conference.
6. SIOPinionated. The characteristic of a presenter who speaks in absolute terms with a self-anointed sense of authority. Often found in sessions where the presenter conducted LISREL analysis.
7. SIOPposable thumbs. The characteristic of primates who attend the conference that permits them to grasp inscrutable concepts, like the lower the reliability of a test, the higher will be its estimated validity upon application of the correction for attenuation.
8. SIOPus. A lengthy treatise, like the Conference program.
9. SIOPeretta. A much-ballyhooed session involving conflicting viewpoints which, upon actual presentation, was a demonstration of pedantic whining and puffery.
10. SIOPportunity. The discovery at the Conference of other people who have similar interests as you, which leads to an overture of future collaboration.
11. SIOPulence. The tendency by some people to be over-dressed for the Conference to give the impression they have made it big. They havent.
12. SIOPposition. The unerring capacity of the program committee to schedule two sessions you would like to attend at the same time.
13. SIOPhelia. A tragic femme fatale at the conference who strives to be both one of the good old boys and a new age feminist who doesnt sell out.
14. SIOPpressive. A description of some early morning or late afternoon sessions where the room has been darkened, it is hot, there is little air movement, the presentations are stifling, and you fight to stay awake.
15. SIOPtical illusion. The attempt by presenters to make two concepts which are virtually identical (like KSAPs and competencies) sound as if they are different. Often involves overheads containing a plethora of boxes and arrows.
16. SIOPerant conditioning. The stimulus is a fresh drink from the cash bar at the social hour. The response is being immediately trapped in a long, boring, contrived conversation while other people you would rather talk to are observed in the background.
17. SIOPossum. A discussant who sits very quietly during the presenters papers, who then proceeds to make comments that bear absolutely no relationship at all to any of the papers he or she is supposed to discuss.
18. SIOPprobrium. Having an abstract be rejected for a poster session.
19. SIOPiate. An addictive cure-all whose application automatically makes something better, like a correction formula.
20. SIOPrah. A type of presenter who makes a complex topic sound understandable and interesting to someone who hasnt spent over 1 year studying it.
Have a nice Conference!
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